Saturday, February 10, 2007
We Got Feeds, Y'all
It's like a window into my world. Don't you feel like we are really connecting now? No? Wow, all of a sudden you seem a little uncomfortable. When did this conversation suddenly turn into that Christopher Walkern SNL skit, "The Continental"?
Friday, February 09, 2007
Netflix, Thou Art a Cruel Mistress
Netflix shipping as I see it...
- If I receive a movie on Monday and Tuesday morning I mail it back, then Wednesday Netflix will receive it and ship out another DVD the same day.
- It takes 2 days to get to me, so I'll get it on Friday.
- All this, of course, assumes I will watch the movie the same day I receive it.
- Based on the above information: Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday are the best days to mail movies for optimum turn around.
- Unfortunately, if you mail it Mon through Wed you would at best be able to send them back Fri through Sunday (which are the worst days).
- On average we watch 3 movies a week; this works out to just over 12 movies per month.
- If you started May 1st and watched every movie the same day you received it, and mailed it back the following morning you could watch 18 movies in a month. If you average 2 days to watch a movie the total goes down to 15 movies max for the month. 3 days = 12, 4 days = 9.
- This is a great deal if the movies are new releases. $4 per new release x 18 movies would be $72 worth of movies for only $17.99 a month.
- However, if all 18 movies are .99 non-new release rentals, then .99 x 18 = $17.82 worth of movies for $17.99 per month. Not a great deal at all. In fact, some might suggest this is, in fact, a craptastic deal.
- I'm not altogether sure movie rental stores still have .99 rentals on non-new releases.
So, the more new releases you rent, the more bang you're getting for your buck. Save the movies that have been on DVD for a year or more for cable.
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Has It Been Four Months?
The reasons for my absence from the blogosphere are twofold:
2) Writer’s block. Generally I find inspiration strikes me when I’m driving on the freeway or taking care of the livestock out back. When I actually sit down to put my thoughts to the keyboard, I get nothing. Which is too bad, because if memory serves me correct those snippets of wisdom are truly a wonder to behold (and by 'behold', I mean 'to reflect upon'). Unfortunately I forget them soon after. What I need to do is carry around a small tape recorder or hire a personal assistant that can transcribe my mutterings on the spot.
In the 38 years I’ve maintained this blog I've learned a few hard lessons. Not the least of which is, "Always spackle before you paint".
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
A Word About Comments
There have been a lot of comments received at the news desk this week, and unfortunatly most have been rejected. While we appreciate your contributions to the Spatulas of Doom blog, in the future please adhere to the following guidelines:
- All comments must praise Larry
- All commentators must display deference and obsequiousness to Larry
- Comments must not disagree with Larry
- Comments must not displease Larry
- Do not taunt, mock, or otherwise affect a disrespectful tone with or towards Larry
Also, criticism should be constructive and should follow the 5 to 1 rule: 5 positive comments for every negative one.
Comments should, for the most part, sing Larry’s praises with multiple exclamation points.example of good criticism: "I don't think you expressed just how awesome you
are".example of bad criticism: "you are a self-absorbed jerk and I hope you
die a horrible death"
For instance: "Great post!!!" "Way to go!!" "You rock!!!!"
Submissions not following the above guidelines are subject to a complete rewrite and/or deletion.
Larry
editor, Spatulas of Doom newsdesk
Fighting censorship since Q4 2006